|Do not open until August. ;)|
I was only about four months along here. I'm much bigger now!
Partly, it was laziness. Partly, it was for my sanity. You see, this past year was my first year teaching at a new school and I found that I had a hard time giving my heart to both things - teaching and writing. I seemed to end up resenting one more.
I would get advice: Just write for an hour or so a night. Unfortunately, once I get my brain into the zone, I tend to stay there awhile to the detriment of my personal and professional life (and sleep schedule).
So, I made a choice. It was my students and family. I don't regret the choice. The first year at a new school is incredibly hard - even with previous teaching experience. But I want to make some changes to accommodate both next year.
My goal is to both write and teach in the upcoming year, but I have to change the expectations I put on myself.
1. Get in the habit of writing with my students every week. This will benefit all of us. I cannot promise every day. In a perfect world, I would, but obviously this is not a perfect world and I am far from perfect! Which leads me to number two....
2. Forgive myself more. I allow myself to be consumed by guilt. It is a serious personality flaw. I suspect guilt helped me avoid my computer. The worse I felt about not writing, the less likely I was to do it and the more negative my feelings about it and myself became. I have to stop and let myself just be and enjoy the process.
3. Stop making goals. Just write. I can only do so much, especially considering how my life is going to change shortly. Which leads me to another confession....
I must also admit that I haven't been reading much this year either (besides students' papers, that is). Yes, I know. What kind of English teacher am I? The reason for this is a good one though. I found out, shortly after my last blog post, that I'm pregnant. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in August! A little girl! :)
And ever since I got pregnant, whenever I pick up a book (or sit down for any extended time period), I fall asleep. I can't help myself.
The good news is that I am no longer an insomniac (although soon I'll be getting very little sleep again).
The bad news is obviously that I miss reading and am so frustrated with myself. I will say that I still read EVERY day of the week. EVERY day. However, while I used to devour pages upon pages, I now get through ten pages - tops. So, it's a process.
All in all, forgive me for neglecting this blog and my passions - reading and writing. I'm just trying to do the best I can. Aren't we all? And I know that with the birth of my daughter, I will have new priorities, but I hope to never completely give up my passions and dreams.
None of us should.