Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why are we afraid to follow our dreams?

Here is a quote by Marianne Williamson that Brei found on another blog and brought to my attention.  She said that when she read it, it reminded her of me. 
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves: “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t
Feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other
People permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

The first three lines that really grabbed my attention and they really sank deep in.  Those lines remind me of myself also.  They make me think of the struggles that I have not only in  finding my light, but following it as well.  I know that everyone has those struggles, finding their passion, following their dreams.  Why are we so afraid?  I have really always enjoyed art.  Specifically drawing since I grew up with sketchbooks and pads to doodle on.  People have come in and out of my life, telling me that I have the "potential" to do something great for myself.  That I could really "go" somewhere.  Ha, I laugh at that now.   "Go" somewhere?  Well, I have landed all the way over in Germany so I guess that I have gone somewhere, right?

Is art my dream?  Is art what I am really passionate about?  I am not sure if it is but I am definitely afraid of it.  For some reason, ever since I was able to color at the age of 4, I have been extremely modest of my work.  I say "work" as describing anything that I colored in, drew, or created and I kid you not, ever since I could physically use a drawing utensil.  Were does that come from, that modesty, that insecurity, and that fear?  How come at age 5 or 6 when I colored in a coloring contest page that my mom had given me, I balled it up and threw it away when I was finished?  She then took it out, mailed it in and I won.
Though I might be at a point in my life where I am really struggling to find that spark inside of me, I can't help but be so proud of those around me who have found their light and who have let their guards down to follow it!  They are so inspiring, so determined, and so real.  I stand in awe of my sister, Brei, because for as long as I have none the girl (my whole life:), she has written stories.  It took her a long time to realize that writing is her true calling and for as long as she "ignored it, because it was not sensible, not logical" -her words, now knowing that she is finally following her heart and following her dreams, she can go to work with ease.  She has recognized her purpose.  She has found her joy.  She has stood up to her fear.  And I stand in awe of her light.

So a reminder to myself and to others: We are not inadequate.  We are powerful beyond measure.

Checkout the blog she found this on because she has a wonderful story that follows it:

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